Fic: Ice Cream (One Shot)

The Scum Villain’s Self-Saving System fic

Mobei Jun x Shang Qinghua, about 4,800 words

MBJ/SQH established relationship. There’s an argument, they have makeup sex later.

This oneshot won’t make as much sense unless you read Sanctuary(oneshot) first.

Sorry for the delay, I was distracted by a dozen ideas and the pressure of thinking this sequel won’t match up to the first, but I still gotta write it.

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Shang Qinghua was gifted the artifact necklace by Mobei Jun, who inarguably said that the An Ding Peak Lord needed it more. It was true enough because Mobei Jun could simply fight or flee himself out of most dangerous situations while Shang Qinghua was better off using the artifact’s powers to teleport away to safety. Ever since then, Shang Qinghua wore the magical and golden article of jewelery that resembled a collar, only leaving it by his side when he had to sleep, or unless he had to take it off for some reason, such as when he had to bathe, or Mobei Jun wanted to kiss his collarbone, and sometimes it was for both these reasons at once, and such a thing was good to experience in the peaks’ current hot weather.

Shang Qinghua wore the necklace publicly and it was discrete enough when its runes weren’t activated, albeit slightly too flashy for someone like Shang Qinghua to wear. He’s received a compliments on it and when asked, he had said his lover gave it to him, but in turn had gotten understanding looks that said “there’s no need to make things up, just say you treated yourself to a nice accessory”. He didn’t know he looked so undateable, but he was taken, really.

Most people didn’t know what wearing the artifact meant, but Shang Qinghua did. It was Mobei Jun claiming him. He was certain it was like the thing BDSM couples did, where the sub couldn’t exactly wear a collar in public so they went for something subtler, like a choker, but that meant the sub was always wearing the symbolic collar that meant they are owned by their Dom. Most people wouldn’t think a choker was a collar, but the sub and Dom would both know and there was something thrilling about making the relationship at once obvious and not obvious. Shen Yuan informed him he really wished he didn’t know about Shang Qinghua and Mobei Jun’s relationship but he unfortunately did.

Shang Qinghua was in a relationship. There were things he had to say to Mobei Jun, stuff to show him.

“There’s something I have to show you. Can you promise me you won’t get enraged?” Shang Qinghua asked.

Mobei Jun made no such promise, and instead demanded that whatever it was, Shang Qinghua had to show him now, immediately.

Shang Qinghua does.

The something turned out to be a building, one of the many on the rather large Cang Qiong Mountain.

What made this building and its room unusual was its design.

Shang Qinghua showed Mobei Jun the blueprints.

It was a building especially designed to trap an ice demon within its walls. A prison for this purpose.

Features included flowing lava, sun’s rays strengthening mirrors, huge furnaces, ice destroying salt and hot oil, and of course chains and arrays.

“It was designed to imprison me.” Mobei Jun said, his cool voice belying rage. Shang Qinghua could hear the unspoken words. This should have been long destroyed by you or not have been created at all. The papers were promptly frozen, and then smashed into a billion small pieces.

Shang Qinghua immediately fell upon his explanations. It was designed to imprison an ice demon, not Mobei Jun specifically. There were multiple ice demons, like his uncle, Linguang Jun. Shang Qinghua was weak, he couldn’t have prevented this building from being built because it was the idea of people higher up on the peaks’ command chain. They had the ideas and the resources and Shang Qinghua could not simply destroy this entire building alone, people would notice and besides he had –

Shang Qinghua’s words are suddenly cut off by Mobei Jun’s voice and Shang Qinghua could see that Mobei Jun had had enough and his feelings were overflowing messily, like when a bunch of ice was dumped into an already full container of water. Shang Qinghua could understand, after all, he was the one who had written Mobei Jun’s childhood trauma of being chased by cultivators and threatened with the possibility of being locked away in Huan Hua Palace’s Water Prison for life.

Mobei Jun gave Shang Qinghua a firm, silencing slap, then he turned around, saying, “I don’t want to see your face.”

The familiar words stabbed Shang Qinghua’s heart.

Mobei Jun left in a huff and Shang Qinghua knew he had been let off easy.

Shang Qinghua was distracted the following day. People see the red slap mark on his face, his depressed expression, clear lack of necklace and asked if his lover had broken up with him. Mobei Jun had not said anything about breaking up with him but Shang Qinghua had put away the necklace, worried that he would be tempted into using it and allowing it to send him to Mobei Jun, who didn’t want to see his face.

Mobei Jun didn’t want to see Shang Qinghua but Shang Qinghua wanted to see Mobei Jun. He suddenly wished that he had his phone and he impossibly hoped it contained Mobei Jun’s selfies, or a standard couples’ photograph with peace signs or rabbit ears in front of some famous landmark like the entrance to the demon mausoleum or the tall tower in Huayue City that brother Peerless Cucumber had fallen from.

Shang Qinghua sat by a lake and looked for Mobei Jun’s face in the cracking patterns of the ice. He studiously does this for a whole fifteen minutes until he realized that there shouldn’t be ice in this place in this season.

He looked up hopefully, but there wasn’t Mobei Jun, instead it was Mobei Jun’s uncle, Linguang Jun, who was giving him the strangest look, like Shang Qinghua was the world’s biggest jackass, a rare and stupid creature that he, the hunter, had been observing for as long as Shang Qinghua had been in a daze, looking for his nephew’s visage in the ice he had created.

Fuck!

“Did you find what you were looking for?” Linguang Jun asked mockingly. His hands move, as if to say, if it’s death, I’ve got you covered.

Shang Qinghua thought, I have to use the artifact, now, immediately. He wasn’t wearing it.

Shang Qinghua doesn’t die because who should come out of the river that flowed into the lake except Luo Binghe, waving a fishing pole instead of a sword and looking extremely irritated. He yelled something about broken lines, sudden changes scaring a catch away, and his fear about how dinner was going to be ruined.

Linguang Jun called Luo Binghe a half-breed, but that didn’t meant he was capable of defeating him.

Things are okay until Liu Qingge showed up to target anyone was a demon or had demon blood.

The battle moves all over the place and deciding Shang Qinghua was in the way, Liu Qingge threw him into the building Shang Qinghua had showed Mobei Jun the blueprints of.

“You’ll be safe here,” Liu Qingge informed him and he left before Shang Qinghua could protest, he wouldn’t be, not really.

Things go from bad to worse when Linguang Jun strolled in to inform Shang Qinghua that he gotten away because Luo Binghe and Liu Qingge were fighting each other.

He activated his ice powers, probably to kill Shang Qinghua, but that resulted in the activation of the jail’s functions.

The lava flowed, the mirrors opened, the salt poured. Shackles appeared and locked on to the target.

Linguang Jun’s powers are shut off and Shang Qinghua hoped he wouldn’t notice something was off.

Linguang Jun frowned, upset to realize he had fallen into a specific trap.

This place was like building a paper cage to capture a bear, thought Shang Qinghua, who didn’t say a word.

But then one of the mirrors in the set-up that endlessly looped and increased the rays of the sun – it suddenly smashed.

Linguang Jun sniffed and then he actually licked a bit of “salt”.

Shang Qinghua’s heart dropped. Even if he didn’t speak. Linguang Jun probably already knew something was fishy about the building.

He was right because Shang Qinghua had sabotaged the building as it was being constructed. He did little things, like shifting powering stones, little moves like a centimeter but added up it made the arrays broken or easily broken. He buried saltpetre, a cooling agent, and changed some of the salt into sugar. He switched out the material of places in the wall for something that looked similar but was rubbish and weakened the wards.

Shang Qinghua hadn’t gotten a chance to tell Mobei Jun, who had been so hurt. This room, after all, was a form of betrayal, but Shang Qinghua had tried his best to render it useless. He really did try hard.

He did too good a job.

Linguang Jun’s expression revealed he could tell what the room was for and the fact it was very shoddily built. In short time he broke out of the pathetically weak chains and the anti-ice demon enchantments easily.

Shang Qinghua’s death was again delayed as Linguang Jun began an evil villain monologue because this building was just that funny.

He laughed and gloated about how badly formed the building was and its poor workmanship and how the people of Cang Qiong Sect were morons who don’t know what they were doing and how the main people in charge of this construction had shit for brains.(Shang Qinghua had been the the lead supplier.) He even insulted Shang Qinghua’s mom, which was really uncalled for.

Shang Qinghua missed the familiar comforting weight of the artifact he had been wearing before, and the demon who had formerly worn it. He wondered if he would have an intact corpse.

However, near the end of Linguang Jun’s words and as he’s about to end Shang Qinghua’s life, Mobei Jun entered the room and hit Linguang Jun, who was sent into the wall he was leaning on, which happened to accidentally activate an escape spell that completely ruined the building’s use for imprisonment.

“Uh, oops,” Shang Qinghua said and then he began to explain the implantation of that spell along with the dozens of other ways large and small he had used to compromise this building’s ability to hold anyone let alone how it was suppose to be for imprisoning ice demons in particular. He had noticed it, the look of fear in Mobei Jun’s eyes when he had stepped inside, perhaps afraid that once within he would never be able to leave.

But Mobei Jun doesn’t look at the room much, or even the place his uncle had disappeared at. He mostly looked at Shang Qinghua and drank in his features like someone who had, for a long time, walked a place like his title, a northern desert, and finally found what he had been seeking.

Shang Qinghua had been speaking for some time and by the end his throat was parched. He coughed.

Mobei Jun raised his cupped palm, and on it was cool water. This wasn’t the first time Mobei Jun had offered but Shang Qinghua’s cheeks still burned. He gratefully drank. Going down, the sensation was like having a cold blade against his throat, and he liked it.

Mobei Jun opened the collar of his robes.

Shang Qinghua shivered. Yes, he would like to do things too, but what if Liu Qingge or Luo Binghe or both were to enter this room? He was not into exhibitionism!

“You aren’t wearing the necklace,” Mobei Jun said. There was hurt, rejection, and a tint of anger. “You could have used it to escape from danger.”

“You said you didn’t want to see my face,” Shang Qinghua said, “I put it away because I would be too tempted otherwise. It’s in my room.”

Mobei Jun called him some creative variations on the word idiot, ordered Shang Qinghua to continue wearing the necklace if he wanted to continue wearing his neck and then left after straightening Shang Qinghua’s robes with practiced ease and saying that he’ll be seeing Shang Qinghua at his place at dinner time. Shang Qinghua knew he couldn’t travel to Mobei Jun’s territory that fast in time unless he used the golden necklace to teleport to him.

Shortly after he was gone, Liu Qingge arrived with Luo Binghe and both of them were holding equally large, ridiculously big fish. However, Shang Qinghua noted that the species Luo Binghe had caught was closest to a certain modern fish, the flavor of which was well liked by Peerless Cucumber. Shang Qinghua privately thought he wasn’t the only one getting laid tonight after dinner, or possibly during.

Liu Qingge promptly forgot his catch when he sees the state of the room and sniffed, likely catching the scent of burnt sugar in the air. He looked at the person who had been responsible for supplying the materials to this project. Liu Qingge opened his mouth and that was how Shang Qinghua ended up writing a report until dinner time.

He looked at his paper, where he spent a paragraph justifying how sugar was visually indistinguishable from salt, and that he understood that only one competently melted ice, but to tell he would have had to look in at it really close and what would happen if he were to accidentally sniff it and discovered it to be cocaine? Okay, there was no such drug in this world, but what if?

Shang Qinghua threw down his brush and fingered the golden collar-like piece of jewelery he had worn again the moment he had returned to his room. It wasn’t like he could concentrate anyway, his mind was on other things.

He inserted qi into the artifact and there was a familiar golden glow. His surroundings warped and changed.

He found himself reclined on a velvet cushion his size, on a long dinner table that held many covered dishes, and where only Mobei Jun was seated. There’s no servants around either. Shang Qinghua was naked of course, except for the necklace, because its magic only transported the user to a place of safety but not anything else the user wore.

Mobei Jun removed the necklace from Shang Qinghua and replaced it with a blindfold over his eyes.

Not only was Shang Qinghua blindfolded, he also felt his hands being bound, at the wrists and crossed over each other, above his head, then his legs too. The comfortable material didn’t chaff and he doubted it would hurt his blood circulation, it wasn’t ordinary restraints.

Mobei Jun formally announced that dinner would begin.

Shang Qinghua heard the sound of something being poured and scent confirmed it as tea. This was a meal, of course there was hot tea…it wasn’t that it got him going, he had already been half-hard before he ever arrived here.

Shortly, Shang Qinghua discovered his role. Mobei Jun’s plate.

Shang Qinghua shivered as chilled fruit was poured on him, judging by the textures and shapes there were several varieties. He still didn’t know what was what until Mobei Jun kissed his body, picked up pieces, and shared the food with him, skillfully passing it to him piece by piece. Shang Qinghua would think it unfair compared to how he had struggled to feed Mobei Jun medicine mouth-to-mouth in the past but it seemed like he was not the only one who had learned from the experiences. Mobei Jun was putting it to use. His tongue also traced and his teeth pressured interesting places across Shang Qinghua’s body.

Shang Qinghua tasted mango, strawberries, apple, lychee, kiwi and mandarin oranges. He also tasted the hot honey that Mobei Jun had poured over the fruit and his body. Shang Qinghua loved it. He had been craving sweet stuff ever since the the ice demon imprisonment building’s sugar that was suppose to be salt had messily fallen into the place’s poor quality lava. Even the brewed tea was a sweet variety, and among that sweet there was even a bit of salt when Mobei Jun restlessly bit Shang Qinghua’s bottom lip, causing it to bleed. He couldn’t tell what Mobei Jun’s expression was currently and speaking wasn’t what Shang Qinghua really wanted to use his lips for at the moment so he simply licked the blood up and shared something back, touched his tongue to Mobei Jun’s to say without words he wasn’t bothered by the little tear at all.

The little appetizer was followed by the main course, food-wise.

There’s long, thin and hot pieces of meat placed on Shang Qinghua and cold vegetables that he could even tell was lettuce, along with rice. He enjoyed the meat’s strong gamey taste and realized that it was venison. He and Mobei Jun were eating deer meat. Shang Qinghua vaguely wondered if it counted for cannibalism because the name had had thought of for Mobei Jun that was not the title Mobei Jun, contained the character “麒”(Qi) , which contained the character for deer, “鹿”(Lu). And “Qi” meant the male of the Qilin (麒麟) species, the deer-resembling creature that ranked exclusively for royal use, like the dragon and the phoenix. Ironically, Qilin were creatures known for their fire and gentleness.

Mobei Jun was relatively gentle at the moment though, his hands periodically touched Shang Qinghua’s body, to move things around, or to rub his body.

Shang Qinghua mostly focused on eating so he was too busy to pay attention to the state of other areas of his body, not to mention he was blindfolded, but he supposed he must look embarrassing, covered in who knew how many different juices. And there was that place between his legs. His hands weren’t free or he would have touched himself. Mobei Jun certainty wasn’t touching that certain part. He did sometimes breathe cold air over it before he’d consume more hot drink, not that it dissuaded Shang Qinghua for long.

At some point he had heard the sound of liquid pouring and the drink Shang Qinghua tasted on Mobei Jun’s lips wasn’t tea anymore but a hot spiced wine, which helped his already red face turn even redder.

Shang Qinghua received another surprise when it came time for dessert.

He’d suspected from the moment the scoops perfectly fell on his chest and the hot, thick sauce that came with it, but he had still thought it unlikely until Mobei Jun shared the flavor with him.

It was vanilla ice cream that even came with hot chocolate syrup!

Shang Qinghua was very excited to discover that Mobei Jun had created ice cream and chocolate syrup after hearing him describe them once. Ice cream was the other great love of Shang Qinghua’s life, the cold wife to the hot husband called ramen.

He aggressively dipped his tongue into Mobei Jun’s mouth to plunder all the ice cream he could, to the point Mobei Jun made a faintly surprised sound. Thankfully, he understood Shang Qinghua’s actions to mean more, and quicker.

It’s too much.

Shang Qinghua winced and had a reaction while eating the ice cream because he had eaten it too fast, getting brain freeze.

Mobei Jun made a sound of alarm.

“Huh?” Shang Qinghua said in confusion. The weight of ice cream disappeared from his body and he found himself unbound. His blindfold came off too.

The first thing he saw was Mobei Jun’s eyes, dark with desire, and heat burned In Shang Qinghua’s body from the thought that Mobei Jun must have been looking at him like that the entire time Shang Qinghua was being his plate. Among the desire lied concern. Shang Qinghua stared at Mobei Jun’s fascinatingly flushed cheeks.

“You were hurt by the ice cream,” Mobei Jun said.

“I’m okay,” Shang Qinghua said. He wanted to continue the meal just the way he was a moment ago. “Please tie me up again and put the blindfold back over my eyes…I want more ice cream.” He licked his lips. Looking down, he saw himself and sure enough he was a rainbow of liquids. The thing between his legs twitched.

Mobei Jun also noticed but his eyes returned to Shang Qinghua’s face, expression serious.

“The ice cream is bad, you were hurt.” Mobei Jun said, repeating himself.

“Ice cream is good and tasty.”

“It hurt you.”

“It’s delicious. I want more even if it hurts.” Shang Qinghua said, wondering if they were really talking about ice cream anymore. Daringly, he snatched the blindfold and wore it again himself.

Reaction came in the form of his legs and hands being bound again, which took longer this time.

However, disappointingly he experienced the sensation of what was unmistakably having steamed vegetables poured on him. He groaned in a way that was complaining and not at all erotic. Or so he thought. He ate a piece of leafy green and then the breath was kissed out of him. He noted the flavor of tea had returned.

“Um, I really want ice cream and not green things,” Shang Qinghua said once he capable of it.

Mobei Jun said something about the sugar and fat content of ice cream but Shang Qinghua continued to beg pitifully, until the vegetables were removed and replaced with a familiar cold texture.

The next time he tasted ice cream it wasn’t vanilla flavored but red bean. Shang Qinghua used his mouth very enthusiastically.

He’s freed after and shortly dragged outside and into a hot springs. The blindfold slipped off and Shang Qinghua marveled at the convenient self-purifying ability of the water, which washed off the traces of meal on his body. Not for the first time, or the hundredth, he thought it was one thing to write it and another to experience it himself.

Shang Qinghua hummed happily, a relaxing after dinner soak was wonderful.

Only he planned to relax, Mobei Jun on the other hand…

This large hot springs was a special place Mobei Jun cultivated in because he was hardcore!

Shang Qinghua laid in the spring, content with the warmth but also wanting to be naughty. The hot springs could clean itself, and he had a fine view of Mobei Jun’s nude body.

He doesn’t even get one stroke in before a strike disturbed the water, coming from the only other being inside it. The jet of pressure hit Shang Qinghua and he made a sound, it didn’t feel bad, the opposite in fact, it was very good. Mobei Jun could apparently tell the difference because he continued sending out carefully measured strikes from several places and in different directions, hitting various spots on Shang Qinghua’s body but mostly his back. This was how Shang Qinghua found himself having a luxury hot tub/jacuzzi experience in a xianxia setting.

The massaging jets of pressure and hot water leave Shang Qinghua supple, relaxed and loose-limbed and by the time Mobei Jun’s subdued cold presence settled against Shang Qinghua’s body, he marveled at how easy it was to enter him. Shang Qinghua wanted to protest that he wasn’t easy but he realized that he was, he was totally easy for Mobei Jun. Right now, Mobei Jun could order Shang Qinghua to call him grandfather and Shang Qinghua would. Well, he normally world, but at this moment he’d be happy about it. They have intimate relations in the hot springs and Shang Qinghua was once again thankful that it self-purified.

Upon leaving the hot springs, Shang Qinghua had the strangest feeling he had advanced in his cultivation somehow, though he doesn’t confirm it until later.

Shang Qinghua followed Mobei Jun into his bedroom, where he was handed the sleep robes that were kept for him.

Mobei Jun put on his own sleep robes and lied down on the bed. Shang Qinghua dressed and wondered if Mobei Jun overdid it by doing “that activity” with him while in the hot springs. He doubted Mobei Jun would admit it though.

Instead, Shang Qinghua reclined next to him and said he would like to be the one doing stuff to Mobei Jun if that was okay with him.

Mobei Jun nodded.

Shang Qinghua smiled, delighted, and as if presented with gifts, opened Mobei Jun’s robes and freely began touching him, nipples, abs, his sides, his thighs. Every little reaction from Mobei Jun extended the time of the smile on Shang Qinghua’s face. He thought Mobei Jun might say “Impudent!” or some similar phrase but Mobei Jun offered small sounds instead of words, and after the thighs, Shang Qinghua goes between them.

He wasn’t sure what to do and unfortunately he decided to try and take it in all at once and that goes badly because he gagged and teared up. Mobei Jun does say something now and commanded Shang Qinghua to take it slowly, no longer allowing him to attempt to fit Mobei Jun’s not so little brother into his mouth. Shang Qinghua ended up licking it like a popsicle instead and that worked fine. Mobei Jun even liked the pressure of teeth during, though Shang Qinghua thought he messed up, but actually he was not the only one with masochistic tendencies. Shang Qinghua worked until Mobei Jun came and to him it tasted like cool spearmint. He had wrote Mobei Jun to his preferences, and that included his favorite gum. Shang Qinghua loved reuniting with his modern favorites.

He carefully cleaned up and closed Mobei Jun’s robes, cuddling with him, admiring his sleep robes and how he could feel Mobei Jun through them and still retain warmth. Mobei Jun wasn’t asleep yet because he was seized with some thought and staring at Shang Qinghua.

“I want to eat ice cream for breakfast.” Shang Qinghua declared audaciously.

“That doesn’t sound like a good idea,” Mobei Jun replied. “Humans eat warm things for breakfast like porridge, steamed mantou, eggs, hot dumplings, or hot noodles,” He stressed the last one. His voice promised he could make Shang Qinghua any of these things. All of them.

“I want ice cream,” Shang Qinghua said stubbornly.

Mobei Jun remained silent for a period of time.

The next time he spoke, he started saying all the things he had done to Shang Qinghua that was sorry for.

Shang Qinghua treated it like a lullaby to fall asleep to. He paid attention and it also lulled him to sleep.

“Your voice is really nice,” Shang Qinghua grinned.

“… I’m naming all the times I’ve beaten you…”

“It’s a nice song… I’ll forgive you if you let me eat ice cream for breakfast.”

“Okay…”

Shang Qinghua snuggled closer and fell asleep.

In the morning, Shang Qinghua woke up first. Mobei Jun’s askew robes exposed pale flesh. Sleepily and absentmindedly he drew on Mobei Jun’s skin, treated it as paper and his finger the pen, leaving invisible marks only he knew the shape of. It was the same shape, over and over.

“What are you drawing?” Questioned a voice in a whisper.

“Hearts,” Shang Qinghua immediately answered, still lost in thought.

“Hearts? That isn’t the character for heart, nor are hearts shaped like that.”

“Um,” Shang Qinghua’s finger froze suddenly, after he finished the last shape. He blushed. This cultivation world was not aware of the image of a heart as it appeared in a deck of playing cards or in a teenage girl’s diary as she wrote them all around her crush’s name.

♡♡♡

…He had distractedly drawn such hearts on Mobei Jun.

These stupid hands sure have always brought him alot of trouble!

“Are hearts shaped like that?” Mobei Jun said wonderingly, and he loosened Shang Qinghua’s robes and placed his hand over where Shang Qinghua’s rested. Maybe his tone can be interpreted as, you need to see a real one. “Aren’t they more like – ” Mobei Jun lifted his hand and traced an oval-like shape on Shang Qinghua.

“This can also be a heart…” Shang Qinghua said, once again tracing the shape on Mobei Jun that was like two connected halves of a whole.

“Oh? And what does it mean?” Mobei Jun asked.

“It means I…love you,” Shang Qinghua said quietly because he meant it and also so Mobei Jun couldn’t think he had been trying to cast some weird magic on him with those shapes. His voice was soft but it had been said, and it had been heard. “The heart in me feels that about you, so I drew symbolic ones on you.”

“Oh,” Mobei Jun murmured, and with his finger he started doodling hearts against Shang Qinghua’s skin too, the cool touch leaving memorable paths. “Hmm, so this shape is a heart, it means, I love you.”

Mobei Jun learned fast and somehow managed to make the egg he placed on top of Shang Qinghua’s bowl of noodles look like a heart. There was a bowl of ice cream next to the noodles.

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Hahaha if you thought my last MBH/SQH fic was sappy.

usual reminder I have a kofi : https://ko-fi.com/spearpointtranslations

one oneshot complete, and much more bunnies to work on. XD